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 The Herald (21/03/06)

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baiboe
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Number of posts : 433
Registration date : 2005-11-12

PostSubject: The Herald (21/03/06)   Tue 21 Mar - 15:08

The HERALD

Good Morning! Today is, Sunday March 17th, 1454
Edition XXI

LOCAL NEWS

A Question of Honor


Two Lords are at odds with each other and it appears that arms will be used to settle the matter of honor. Lord Harald Jarl, former count of Sussex, Sheriff of Sussex, and well known resident of Arundel was engaged in a heated debate with Lord Mayor Dugustus, current mayor of Winchester, and representatives of his party, The Patrons. One of the chief debators was the Lady Ailee who in one rather heated exchanged threatened to play by her own rules instead of the laws of the county. Her words so struck Lord Jarl, that he responded in heat and said she could then go play with herself. Those charged words were taken differently by different people. Some onlookers understood Lord Jarl to say she could play by herself in her own way but would still face prosecution if her way was to break the law. Others read something more sinister and vulgar into his words. The Lady Ailee seemed to not take notice, but then the innuendo sank in and she demanded an apology. That is when Lord Mayor Dugustus elevated the tensions with the following challenge


Quote :
An honorable gentleman does not use someone, no less a womans dishorable conduct as defence of his own dishonor.
This is what sets an honorable gentleman appart from lower men.

Note I did not say I'll wait till Whit apologizes first when we were at odds.
No I forwarded that apology first personally to him then publically here(even thou I feel I was the one in the right), of my own volition because it was the honorable thing to do.

Basically you're saying because she attacked your party your personal slur upon her is just and needs no apology.
Even though the mod admonished you directly, and put you in the wrong.

So much for the honor of past Dukes.

You stain the honor of all gentlemen of status and gentry in england act thusly.

Now you further stain the honor of yourself and good Emunah buy bringing forth a private matter long settled and at peace between him and I.

If you demonstrated any honor I would accord you thusly as I always did in the past.

Now you have no honor, to rest upon you past glories does not stand against your present deeds.

I will not have it.
This is base and ignoble and a black spot upon all good and noble englishmen.

To not rise in the defence of a Lady of court would be unconcionable.

I challange you Jarl to the field of open combat.
Although you shall surely slay me I say to thee,
Apologize to the Lady or come forth from Sussex and face me.
Thou art craven and vain sir to so thusly debase a noblewoman and then stand upon your deeds.
It is sad that your deeds now brings our two honorable political vocations to arms when such a peace and co-operation is at hand but so be it.
If this be the only way to address your ungentlemanly conduct.


The Lord Mayor Dugustus followed that verbal challenge by sending a messenger to Arundel. Here is an account of what occurred there taken from an eyewitness.

Quote :
A rider appears.
He leaves on the Desk an envelope address to The Commoner Harald Jarl also known as the Black Duke.
When opened a white feather with a black spot on it falls out.

The Lord Mayor Dugustus, in reaffirming his challenge added further insult by refusing to acknowledge the nobility of a former Count of Sussex. This affront was answered by Count Harald Jarl.

Quote :
I Harald Jarl, previous Count of Sussex, current Sheriff of Sussex, Defender of Citizens Union of Sussex doth hereby accept the challenge to single combat issued by Dugustus!

Though it was not issued in the normal chivalrous way, we have to humor this upstart even if he doth not know the proper forms.

If thou, Dugustus, hath chosen to end thy life in this way then so be it, I accept!

I accept in the name of all the fair Ladies of CUE that thou hath long demeaned with thy shameful lies, and furthermore I accept in the name of the common free people of England that thou and thy kind opress.
Unlike thy new upstart nobillity we, the older nobillity of the realm, help and protect our common free citizens.

As the challenged party, it is my right to decide upon weapons used and the time and place of the duel. In honour of my viking ancestors, I choose to fight single combat with axes on foot. Meet me on the road where the borders of Sussex and Wiltshire meet between the towns of Arundel, and Winchester in a week hence at Sunday the 26th. I shall await thee there to do single combat.

At this times, all citizens are urged to leave the roads clear on Sunday the 26th for these two men to settle their dispute with honor lest the be caught up in the duel.

Continue to read The Herald and we will bring you updates on this ongoing story.

By Staff

Announcement from Sussex:

baiboe wrote:
Minimum wages: a mayoral responsibility?

A proposal that would have made it possible for the mayors to set their own wage grid (within the limits of the slavery law), didn't pass the votings.

Quote :
Town minimum wage controls

Each town is allowed to setup a grid wage, indicating the minimum wage for a given skill level (i.e. :min wage 16 pounds for skills between 0 and 10; min wage 21 pounds for required skills between 10 and 19).
This grid wage must be displayed in the Town Hall announcement panel.
In case of offense, the mayor is responsible for starting a prosecution for Slavery.
The final sentence will rest on County Judge appreciation.
The County law about Slavery remains the priority (16 pounds is the absolute minimum, and a warning is still necessary before prosecution.)
Yea (3): Lady Vaness, Cassandra, Minaserana
Nay (7): baiboe, ghjk, Harald Jarl, Nordicnorn, zymurge, Sadowa, unknown council member
Abstained (0):
Didn't vote: tetsu, teignat, FireDancer (disclaimer: one of these three did vote but forgot to mention it)

Changes in the Council


Due to the constant flaming and harassing by a small minority of the public, our trade minister, Teignat, resigned from the council. Following his lead, Tetsu made the same decision and returned to his studies.

Although it is a big loss for Sussex, the Council understand their decision and whishes them well.

Functions had to be swapped to make sure that things keep functioning so this is how the current council looks like:
  • Kaihra
  • Ka
  • FireDancer
  • Baiboe (Spokesman)
  • Minaserana (Trade Minister)
  • Dame_vaness (Judge)
  • Cassandra (Sergeant)
  • Zymurge
  • HaraldJarl (Sheriff)
  • Nordicnorn (Count)
  • Sadowa (Public Prosecutor)
  • Densuke (Constable)

Announcement from Wiltshire:

Lorudce wrote:
The following law was passed by a vote of 9 to 0

Breach of Contract

Any party that shall enter into a contract or grant with an individual, town, or county and not carry out their side of the contract shall be found guilty of breach of contract.

Those found guilty of breach of contract shall face the following penalties

1st offense: fine equal to the money lost in the deal + 10% and 1 RP

2nd offense fine equal to the money lost in the deal + 25% and 2 RP

3rd offense fine equal to the money lost in the deal + 50%, 3 RP and 1 day in jail.


Vote Tally:


For: LordLED, Whit, Ecthelion, Bohr, Aanien, Lorudce, DariusFarlenz, Harekr, Wyntyrkyng
Against:

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
RELIGOUS NEWS

Father Lorudce named Bishop of Clifton

The Diocese of Clifton, which has oversight of Marborough, Salisbury, and Bridgewater, has been without a Bishop since the organization of the Church in the Kingdom. Father Lorudce, also Count of Wiltshire, recently became a prominent citizen (lvl 3) and has chosen the way of the church. King LongJohnSilver appointed him to the office of Bishop of Clifton upon his attainment. Bishop Lorudce has moved to Marlborough and had this to say,
Quote :
I am truly humbled by the promotion within the Universal and Roman Aristotelian Church of England. Since answering my call to the priesthood, I have devoted myself to serving humanity. I am currently looking for priests to ordain to fill the parishes of Marlborough and Bridgewater.

Continue to read The Herald for more news of the expanding Church.

By Herald staff.

WEATHER




Humor

Tech Support

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one...
===============
Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No .. wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....
===============
Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
===============
Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates, dammit!
===============
Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Mary, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...
===============
Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.
===============
Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me.
===============
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...
===============
Tech support: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
===============
Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
===============
Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
===============
Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
===============
Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?
===============
A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."
===============
And last but not least...
Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!
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