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 The Herald (29/10/05)

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baiboe
Archivist


Number of posts : 433
Registration date : 2005-11-12

PostSubject: The Herald (29/10/05)   Sat 7 Jan - 7:34

The HERALD

Good Morning! Today is, Saturday October 29th, 1453
Third Edition

LOCAL NEWS

Mayor Zymurge Indicted!

Zymurge, mayor of Lewes is currently facing trial for the crime of betrayal in the Sussex county court. The indictment came in two parts. One alleges Zymurge has been guilty of confidence racket/Swindling. Here is a quote from the indictment,


Quote :
You have broken this law by manipulating the market of your town by buying all the corn and telling all members especially level 0's to only buy your bread. you then sell the corn to the county so it is no longer available within Lewes.


The second part of the indictment alleges Zymurge is guilty of profiteering. The indictment then quotes the mayor's message, of which an excerpt is shown bellow.


Quote :
** Newbie advice: as level 0s please work in the mines, preferably stone, or the militia. Eat bread to save money. Go to the forums and learn. Mail me if you have any questions. ***


At this time the trial is still ongoing awaiting defense pleading and a prosecution witness. The Herald will keep you informed of this unfolding scandal.

By Lorudce


**********************************************************

Teignat Campaign Speech
I'm running again for Mayor because I really feel there is something to be done to improve the wood production in Sevenoaks, and that would definitely help the county's economy, as well as the Town's.

I think I was able to do quite well on my first term, lowering the average price of the most basic goods, such as corn and bread for the vagrants, but also meat, vegies, wood and knives to name a few less basic goods, without lowering the average wages. Of course I was able to do this because the citizens agreed on doing it; without them helping, my scope of action is rather limited, and as I feel they trust me, I want to keep on doing the job to achieve goals that I failed in achieving during this first term, such as (if not mostly) improving the production of wood.

teignat


**********************************************************


Lup_Alb says, "You can quote me on this":

Quote :
CUS hasn't adopted an OFFICIAL POSITION in consulting with KotRT for the reviewing of the laws in the County

**********************************************************

Winchester Election, Final Resuls.

And its over!!!!

The final counts are in and are as follows....

Hehe, Independant, 3.6%,
Dark_Devil, Hells Masters Party, 10.7% (a surprise result for such a 'sleepy' Town like Winchester).
Nightbliss, OPE, 28.6% (a good result for a new candidate, well done).
Iulius Catullus, KotRT, 57.1%, an excellent result for the current County Spokesman and Sussex's longest standing Mayor.

Congratulations to all who took part in the Election.

Chinahero

***********************************************************

Tribulations in Arundel

Mayor Chamchikc inexplicably steps down immediately from her mayor post in the busy city of Arundel, leaving the mayorship open. Says the former mayor Chamchikc:

Quote :
To all who voted for me I apologize. I cannot stay longer and wait until a new mayor is elected.

It was an honor and fun to be here and I worked very hard to bring Arundel around successfully and see it prosper. Hopefully the next mayor will be as dedicated and keep bringing properity and fun to the town.

Good luck to all of you and to our county."

The former mayor was extremely popular and nearly all of its citizens wisher her well. An unexplained illness is suspected.

Sevare, Lokdar and UrShak have expressed interest in gaining mayorship to guide Arundel, and have entered into a spirited debate.

Lokdar, a representative in the Imperial Senate is running on the ideas of: Ensuring a highly active dialogue between he and his subjects exists, helping new citizens prosper in Arundel, working with the council to improve the city and county, continuing events such as the Harvest Festival, adopting the "free market" economic system and lowering, if not eliminating taxes altogether.

UrShak is a member of CUS supports a more controlled economy protecting poorer citizens, along with other general policies of CUS. He also promises to continue the policies of former Mayor Chamchikc.

An independent candidate - Sevare is also running for mayor and gives these thoughts:

"My platform is Arundel first. While yes I will abide and gladly follow the laws set down by the council, I will always make sure Arundel never falls behind. I will continue to make considerations with our craftsmen and land owners to insure the town and everyone in it will prosper....I will be fully accountable to the people of Arundel. My office always open to listening to suggestions, comments, complaints. All to work towards an even greater Arundel."

However, another Mayor - Teignat has pointed out an election may not be moved forward, and the only possible legal way to instal another mayor is through rebellion. Earl Harald Jarl is currently investigating the situation.

by Whit

*********************************************************

Baiboe wins Salisbury Mayor re-election bid!


Last Monday election polls ended on a happy note for Mayor Baiboe as he held off a late surge by challenger Pathus by a margin of sixty percent to forty percent. Baiboe responded by selling beer at his tavern at cost in celebration of his win. During the election, both candidates were extremely cordial, as opposed to many other elections across the County.

by Whit

**********************************************************

Darklover returns to Southampton!

Former mayoral candidate and one who has been charged with crimes 3 times and convicted once returns to Southampton. Darklover had this to say:
Quote :
Hello, everyone, I return to Southampton because I miss this city, I know that my ideas are good and I want to help this city, I hope to be represented as a mayor but before I intend to live with you and in this

The Herald caught up with Darklover and he had this to say:

The Herald: How long do you plan to stay in Southampton?
Darklover: I intend to remain in Southampton during several months.

The Herald: Do you plan to run for mayor again next time?
Darklover: I will like to represent myself to be a mayor because I think of being able to bring things has the city, or at least to belong to the town council.

The Herald: Are you the forerunner of Belzabar who will return soon as well?
Darklover: No I am not the forerunner of Belzébar

You heard it here first. Darklover returns to Southampton to settle down for months and one day desires to serve the town as mayor or on the council.

By Lorudce

********************************************************

SHORTS

Farewell Lady Vaness
Lady Vaness, a long time resident of England and one of our most valued citizens has decided to tour France for a while. She may spend the holidays there, but perhaps she will return soon.
She wished us well as she stood on the ferry waving goodbye.

We wish you well and hope to see you on our shores again!

From Nordic and the crew at the Herald

***********************************************************
The Bard of Susssex
Nordicnorn, the Bard of Sussex, will be once again playing Friday and Saturdays at the Southampton inn.
It has been long known by her fans that she wished nothing more than to return to the Bardic way of life after her stint as Countess, she has decided to return part time, much to the delight of the local fishermen who wish nothing more than a good drink and a bit of music after a long day's fishing.

***********************************************************
Words from our Duke HaraldJarl
Quote :
As you all know we are getting closer to the time when war is a possibility.

For those of you that are thinking of joining the Sussex army you should know that your individual strength will be a factor in the fighting, so prepare for it by working on your strength.

Quote :
The Sussex council in all its wisdom have granted each town in Sussex a gift in the form of £2000. We are dedicated to see that all of Sussex prosper!
.

**********************************************************
Church of the old ways is leaderless because Mystic died of unknown Causes.

It appears that no one has stepped up to take her place
There appears to be no future of the CoTOW.

By Nordicnorn

**********************************************************

Many French citizen of Sussex are in Provence now
Frenchmen traveling to Sussex find language laws to hard to follow and return to France.

**********************************************************

The Kings Forces will soon need to Draft men and Women.

The King has told Riane, Captain of the Guard, that soon enough the Kings forces will be in Sussex.
The king did not give a certain day, but did say soon

Riane was grateful as the Kings forces have been inactivated for some time
_________________
by Sir Riane

***********************************************************

demonstration at the castle this last week:

(Leader : Arminius)
Demonstration "gaurd" (Leader : Coolman)


***** ALSO *****

Demonstration Dumbies

Everyone Must Die Due To The Disappointment The Lord!

Leaders : JohnnyPyro12, Gurge, Andyf8

*******************************************************

Opinions and Editorials Section


Quote :
Twice Deserted

She has been known as prosecutor, mayor of Arundel, and was once a loyal CUS member. Now, she can only be named a deserter. Chamchickc has repeatedly refused to help anyone that is associated with CUS in any way shape or form. After her first desertion, I was assigned the office of Public Prosecutor and I took my post with pride. It was very quickly that I learned of the trouble that was waiting for me. Especially, with known criminals such as Fast_Arrow and several others making their presence known within Sussex County. The first thing I did was ask the previous Prosecutor, Chamichickc, for assistance and to maybe help me learn how my new position worked. After a week of waiting for a response, I sent another request, this time I was asking her how to word the prosecutions and explain them. Once again, I waited and still nothing. At this point I gave up. My first stint as prosecutor and I was working to please Darmor, who was the current judge at the time. If an indictment was not written word perfect it was discharged it seemed. Even in cases plain to see that there was no hope of the accused to ever see the light of day, again, everything would be discharged. Officially, I was ready to give up altogether and quit being the prosecutor but, I realized I would become the exact same person as my predecessor. She had since then moved on to become mayor of Arundel where yes she did lead the town to great things but, not until after raising taxes many times and letting the market prices of ordinary items fluctuate higher and higher. As soon as the new council was elected recently, she immediately blamed it on darmor, the new trade minister. Chamchickc has repeatedly deserted the citizens of Sussex County in their most dire time of need and, will continue to do so. She was one of the most respected members of CUS. Until, she disappeared. Refusing once again to answer any messages we sent and only helping herself. Finally, the message arrived we were not ready for. This was the message saying very rudely that she was not and had not been a member of our group for a while. She even continued to blame other people for her town's falling economy. A town that she has been mayor of for quite some time. A town that looked up to her and held on to her every word. Now, the town has no choice but to move on. She left them with no choice. She made sure that there was no turning back for them. Leaving the failing town, that she had been leading to the grave, for someone else to rebuild and nurture back to a tax free healthy lifestyle. As always, Chamchickc has put the responsibility of rebuilding on others. This time, she will not be able to swoop in and take the credit for their tired less efforts. I wish the candidates of Arundel Good Luck and, I hope that they will be able to recover from this person's tyranny.

mike1981


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baiboe
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Number of posts : 433
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PostSubject: Re: The Herald (29/10/05)   Sat 7 Jan - 7:34

Humor Section

Airliner Maintainence


Remember, it takes a college degree to fly a plane but only a high school diploma to fix one. Reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in their jobs.

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form,and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

And the best one for last ..................

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

***********************************************************

Halloween Definitions


Coffin:
What you do when you get a piece of
popcorn stuck in your throat.

Frankenstein:
Hot dog and a mug of beer.

Full moon:
What your repairman reveals when
he bends over to fix your fridge.

Goblin:
How you eat the snickers bars
you got for Halloween.

Boogieman:
Guy who passes time at a
stoplight picking his nose.

Invisible Man:
What a guy becomes when there's housework
to be done. Also, see Mr. Hyde.

Jack O' Lantern:
An Irish Pumpkin.

Jack the Ripper:
What Jack does to his lottery tickets
after losing each week.

Mummy:
Who kisses the boo-boo after
you scrape your knee.

Pumpkin Patch:
What a pumpkin wears when
trying to quit smoking.

Skeleton:
Any supermodel.

Vampire Bat:
What Dracula hits a baseball with.

Zombie:
What you look like before that
first cup of morning coffee.

***********************************************************


Classified Section

Advertisments

Quote :


THE RED ROSE IS ONCE AGAIN OPENING IT'S DOORS TO THE FINE CITIZENS OF SUSSEX FOR ENROLLMENT. ALL ARE ENCOURAGED TO APPLY!

***********************************************************

Quote :
THE HARPER HALL IS SEEKING QUALIFIED MEMBERS WHOM ARE ACTIVE WITHIN THE FORUMS AND MUSICALLY INCLINED. INQUIRE AT THE HARPER HALL TODAY!

***********************************************************



Notices



Citizens in Sevenoaks have begin to panic about their bread supplies as their only Bread producer, Lady Vaness, has left Sevenoaks to travel France.
But,to take over the bread supplier post,is Knightflame.

Quoted Knightflame,
Quote :
I had no intentions of being a baker at first,but as Lady Vaness was leaving,there would be no bread on the markets,and I remembered the time of The Great Bread Shortage.

**********************************************************

Pathus and Whit (both of Salisbury) bought a second cow farm. This will mean a large increase of milk production in Salisbury. Congratulations to them

**********************************************************

Historical Section

Background
The Hundred Years war had provided need for the government to raise funds for the war effort, by increasing taxes. These taxes starting in the mid 13th century, and when Henry VI's government increased these taxes more, together with many corrupt local landowners requiring bribes, set the seeds for the rebellion.

Rebellion
In the summer of 1450 the men of Kent and Sussex led by Jack Cade, rebelled and marched on London. This was not just a peasant uprising, but was throughout the general populace. Local notables who were part of the uprising included the clerks of Dallington and Wartling , the rector of Mayfield and even the Prior of St Pancras in Lewes. The rebellion was widespread, and the men of Appledore and Frant were known to have been in the fighting.

The rebels met the Royalist forces near to Sevenoaks, and defeated them, and stormed London, only just failing to take the Tower of London. The Lord Treasurer, Sir James Fiennes and the Archbishop of Canterbury were beheaded by the rebels, and their heads were placed on poles kissing each other. The Royalist forces regrouped and fought the rebels until both sides were exhausted. A truce was called, and Cade presented a long list of complaints, including the following.
If anyone wishes to see the King, they have to pay bribes.
The King owes significant debts to many merchants and will not pay.
Land and goods in Kent are taken by the Kings Servants without payment.
Bribery and corruption is the normal way for Judges and Sheriffs to operate.
Taxation is too high, and unfair.
The people want free elections

Being assured by the Royalist leaders that his demands would be met, and that the rebels would be pardoned, Cade handed over the list of rebels, and the rebels went back to their fields, where the harvest was waiting. Outcome
Cades army declining in size, and the demands not having been agreed by either Parliament or the King, made his position insecure. The King demanded his arrest, and Cade fled to the Weald. He was hunted down by Alexander Iden , the Sheriff of Kent, who caught up with Cade near Heathfield at a hamlet now called Cade Street .
Cade was injured and died on the way to London, and his body was hung drawn and quartered, and his head fixed on a pole on London Bridge.
Although the rebels demands weren't met, in general with the exception of the ringleaders, the pardon was kept. The ringleaders were all killed, and their dismembered bodies distributed around the country as a warning to other would be rebels.

By chinahero

*********************************************************

Religious Section

New Bishop of Sussex!


Yesterday, at All Saints Cathedral in Hastings, Sussex a new Bishop was ordained to give dignity and order back to the Church. The newly appointed Bishop - Bishop Darmor has promised to ban England's Christian Churches of ritualistic magic and other potentially evil witchery. The compassionate Bishop Darmor is also a tutor of languages and serves as the County's trade minister.

by Whit

*********************************************************

International News Section

Duke Cades of Champagne Missing!


A French messenger has announced that Duke Cades of Champagne cannot be found and is feared dead. Conflicting reports say The Duke has been confirmed dead.

Duke Cades was one of the first Dukes in all of France, and during his tenure he lead France to great economic and social power. Heir to the Duchy, Alessandro is next in his line, however there are some legal interpretations that must be overcome before his ascension, and until then Duchess Tsarine will hold power.


*********************************************************

International affairs - economy.
"I have information that the Saint Romano-German Empire is confronted with a major economical crisis. Overproduction, low prices and empty town treasuries. Rumors of rebellion are heard. Maybe a new war?

Here the first information from Saint Romano-German Empire, County of Savoie (Duche de Savoie). It seems that they lack iron and iron goods like knives, axes and buckets. as far as I was informed, the county sells iron only to selected blacksmiths and in limited supply. As you can see, they have a huge surplus of meat and carcasses and also flour and bread. I will gather further information and I will send them to you as soon as I will receive them."

County Council of Savoie

Coacharno
Thaddeus
Elyandel (Connétable)
Faft
Thanas (Prévôt des maréchaux)
ItaloBADI (Juge)
Général (Capitaine)
Rolgobb
Sirjames
Drprost

Freux
Estevan

Town - Annecy - county of Savoie

Market
milk bottles 11,00 16
milk bottles 11,50 8
milk bottles 11,80 27
milk bottles 12,00 8
milk bottles 12,50 17
milk bottles 11,85 1

bread round loaves 6,70 22
bread round loaves 7,00 91
bread round loaves 7,40 34
bread round loaves 7,30 48
bread round loaves 7,75 87

corn bags 13,70 27
corn bags 14,00 15
corn bags 16,00 3
corn bags 14,95 16
corn bags 14,15 9
corn bags 13,80 6
corn bags 15,00 2
corn bags 3,80 29
corn bags 3,95 29
corn bags 3,90 20
corn bags 4,00 124
corn bags 3,75 44

quintals of carcasses of cow 30,40 1
quintals of carcasses of cow 31,00 6
quintals of carcasses of cow 32,00 18
quintals of carcasses of cow 31,40 1
quintals of carcasses of cow 32,40 8
quintals of carcasses of cow 32,50 8
quintals of carcasses of cow 30,50 3
quintals of carcasses of cow 31,50 6

fruits 11,50 3
fruits 11,95 4
fruits 12,00 13
fruits 12,20 1
fruits 15,00 1
fruits 11,60 4
fruits 11,90 2

pieces of meat 18,40 4
pieces of meat 19,00 34
pieces of meat 18,90 4
pieces of meat 19,40 18
pieces of meat 19,50 3
pieces of meat 18,50 9
pieces of meat 18,00 9

half-quintals of carcasses of pig 15,90 23
half-quintals of carcasses of pig 15,80 3
half-quintals of carcasses of pig 15,75 11
half-quintals of carcasses of pig 15,95 19
half-quintals of carcasses of pig 15,05 7
half-quintals of carcasses of pig 16,00 16
half-quintals of carcasses of pig 16,50 38
half-quintals of carcasses of pig 16,30 23
half-quintals of carcasses of pig 16,35 20
half-quintals of carcasses of pig 15,85 3
half-quintals of carcasses of pig 15,20 19

large ladders 78,80 1
large ladders 79,00 1

vegetables 11,50 19
vegetables 11,95 5
vegetables 12,00 24
vegetables 12,50 12
vegetables 11,55 4

boats 130,00 4
boats 125,00 1

pairs of fit 35,00 2
pairs of fit 33,00 2

not ringed buckets not 36,00 8
not ringed buckets 35,50 1
not ringed buckets 34,00 1

buckets ringed 29,90 1

skins 15,45 7
skins 16,00 4
skins 15,50 38
skins 16,10 5

handles 11,10 4
handles 12,00 3

wool balls 11,00 23
wool balls 11,10 1
wool balls 10,95 3

bags of flour 16,80 10
bags of flour 16,90 22
bags of flour 16,50 44
bags of flour 17,30 12
bags of flour 17,00 17
bags of flour 17,50 12
bags of flour 17,40 12
bags of flour 17,10 12
bags of flour 17,20 12

fish 22,50 27
fish 23,20 1
fish 27,00 4

knives 25,00 2
knives 26,00 5

wood bushels 6,00 3
wood bushels 5,90 90

small ladders 35,00 4
small ladders 30,00 2

axes 220,00 2

buckets 60,00 1


This was brought via carrier pigeon. It is the understanding of this reporter that a trade agreement should be set up with this new Empire as well as other political venues of hospitality. We little guys should stick together.
By Emunah

***********************************************************

International affairs - politics.
It seems that the Spanish Empire will be added after the Saint Romano-German Empire.
Carrier pigeons are delivering a good portion of the international news this week. Waiting to see this development come to light.

by Emunah

************************************************************

Weather

by UrShak

Monday




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