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 The Herald (16/10/05)

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baiboe
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Number of posts : 433
Registration date : 2005-11-12

PostSubject: The Herald (16/10/05)   Sat 7 Jan - 7:32

Local News:


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~~~~^^^~~~^^^~~~ Breaking News ~~~^^^~~~^^^~~~
Lord Asile, one of the candidates running for Mayor was rumored to be found dead in his bed early Thursday mornig. A doctor and priest were both called to Lord Aisle's bedside. Though the priest was certain of the candidate's demise, the physician thought that he may just be gravely ill. It appears that this time, science was right, for Lord Aisle was revived and has resumed his campaign. While no official comment has been made about the source of the illness, the doctor was overheard muttering something about an odd virus.

By Nordicnorn & Lorudce

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The Election is Over! CUS wins 8 seats while KoTR wins 4

This election saw the rise and fall of a third party, spirited debate across the county, and much bickering in the taverns. Now that the votes have been counted, we see that CUS has won 8 seats and KoTR has taken 4. Although active in the debates, OPS never managed to get a list together so they have no seats on the council at this time.
This reporter met up with Sir Harald Jarl, Sheriff of Sussex who had this to say,
Quote :
"The election for Sussex council is over and I would like to thank everyone who voted for CUS and worked for us during the campaign, you made this victory possible! I would also like to thank our esteemed opponents for a sometimes hard fought election campaign."


Recently elected Lup_Alb had this to say,
Quote :
Even we have had somme<sic> "flaming" debates, I will put all of those aside and offer my whole colaboration<sic> for the wellfare<sic> of Sussex as a member of the council.


Our new Council:
Darmor (Judge) CUS
HaraldJarl (Sheriff) CUS
Nordicnorn (Count) CUS
Aflac CUS
Niyaz CUS
Mike1981 (Public Prosecutor) CUS
Emunah CUS
Uranium KoTR
Lup_Alb KoTR
Iulius_catullus KoTR
Thelastdhali (Trade Minister) KoTR
BossMustang (Constable) CUS



The citizens of Sussex county now look to the new council to see what impact this election will have on their lives. The Herald will be there every step of the way to bring you the news.

By Lorudce

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"Greetings all! The town of Arundel would like to invite all of Sussex to join us for it's first annual Harvest Festival October 22nd and 23rd. All are invited no matter race, age or creed as long as you stay civil. There will be plenty of events taking place, something for everyone. It will be held near the end of this month at the third weeks end. We encourage merchants to also come and bring your wares, but we ask that if you will be making any large purchases for your home town to see Mayor Chamchickc first to insure all parties walk away without economic troubles. So come on down to Arundel, have a drink, find a pretty lass or handsome lad to dance with, and celebrate the bountiful harvest we have had this year."

By mike1981


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Come one, come all ~ ALL are welcome!

Monday night, just after sundown, all are invited to witness the marriage of Emunah and Aviela of Lewes. The women shall please gather at Aviela's cottage to escort her to the wedding site, and the men shall please gather at Emunah's cottage to escort him. All should bring candles, to aid the light of the full moon. Emunah and Aviela shall be wed under a canopy of trees by the lake. A wedding feast will follow.

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Editorial & Opinion Column

Unofficial Source said:
Quote :
"I think the King will create a second Duchy very soon...
New English County will be created..."

Lady Vasness said:
Quote :
"Based on the fact that most of the Counties in France have 5 towns in average, and some of them have only 2 or 3 towns.... With 7 towns in England, we are one of the largest County of RK, so I guess that when the next town will be created, the County will be split in 2 parts.
Actually, I don't know."

Lup_alb said:
Quote :
"The King himself told there will be a second County in England when there will be enough people... What "enough" means ? I don't know."

More on this soon!


by UrShak

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Court News Section

After several indictments Thai lad is one again Brought in front of the courts.

Local towns people had to be restrained from lynching him on the spot when it was discovered he has been travelling from town to town profiting from so many others hard work.

The crowd shouted and demanded his head. But the judicial system prevailed and he will be held in protective custody until his trial.

On behalf of the city of Salisbury, the county prosecution is bringing charges against thai_lad for swindeling the community of Salisbury in the sale of fish.

The honorable Baiboe is testifiying against him and the trial will be public. Howevre the judge, Darmor warned that no lynchings will take place and the court will be cleared if unrest breaks out.

Riane, Captain of the guard is quoted as saying,
Quote :
"While he is at trial no one shall harm him while my men stand guard."

By Nordicnorn

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Historical Section

c1450 Legend has it that in the mid-15th century Vietnam, King Le Loi defeated Chinese invaders with a magic sword given to him by the gods. After the victory, the king was said to be boating on the lake when a giant golden turtle rose to the surface and grabbed the sword in its mouth before plunging deep into the water to return it to its divine owners. The lake was later renamed "Ho Hoan Kiem," which means "Lake of the Returned Sword."

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Humor Section


A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly
speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The
monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on
the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I
start to get nervous, I take a sip."

So the next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the
beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He
proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon return to his office after
mass, he found the following note on his door:

1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp.

2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.

3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.

4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.

5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his a**.

6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.

7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy,
Junior, and the Spook.

8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the s*** out of him.

9. When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey,
don't say he was stoned off his a**.

10.We do not refer to the cross as the Big T!

11.When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take
this and eat it, for it is my body", he did not say, "Eat me."

12.The Virgin Mary is not referred to as the, "Mary with the
Cherry".

13.The recommended grace before a meal is not: "Rub-A-dub-dub,
thanks for the grub, yeah God". and finally...

14.Next Sunday there will be a taffy-pulling contest at
St.Peter's, not a peter-pulling contest at St. Taffy's.


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When I was younger I hated going to weddings ...
it seemed that all of my aunts and the
grandmotherly types used to come up to me,
poking me in the ribs and cackling,
telling me, 'You're next.'

They stopped that after I started doing
the same thing to them at funerals.

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Advertisement Section


Mike1981 offers:

Quote :
The Red Rose Custom Protection Services

Have a formal event planned? Do you need valuables protected? Are you a wealthy figure and are afraid that there may be a bounty on your head? Do you own a business that you would like secured? The Red Rose Custom Protection Services are there for you. No matter what the security issue, we are there to help. Get in touch with Mike1981 for a free quote, today!

****************************************************************************

Quote :
The Harper Hall is currently seeking musically inclined people to join its ranks and begin assisting making new teaching songs and educational songs. We also need a few people to act as mediators and messengers. All members are asked to be musically inclined and have excellent communication skills. Please, get in touch with mike1981 for details or to apply.
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Weather Section by UrShak

the first of the week should look like this:

Hastings: Rain
Seven Oaks: Scattered Showers
Lewes: Partly Cloudy
Arundel: Sunny
Winchester: Sunny
Southhampton: Sunny
Salisbury: Sunny


By mid-week:

Hastings: Rain
Seven Oaks: Rain
Lewes: Rain
Arundel: Rain
Winchester: Mostly cloudy/good chance of rain
Southhampton: Mostly cloudy/good chance of rain
Salisbury: Mostly cloudy

By the end of the week:

Hastings: Partly cloudy
Seven Oaks: Rain
Lewes: Mostly cloudy
Arundel: Mostly cloudy
Winchester: Rain
Southhampton: Rain
Salisbury: Rain

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International News Section


This is what I translated regarding the War criminals indicted by Duke Cades in Champagne:

REIMS(AAP). Several High profile personalities risked capital punishment by their actions.

The Sieur Darken already was under the blow of a condemnation to death and of a Champagne banishement. He was judged guilty, taken to the torture room and then to Reims this Monday and executed by beheading.

The Sieur Raoul andresy was condemned to death by the Champagne Courts. After having been piloried in Reims, he will be transported towards Rouen to be executed. The Champagne Duke wanting the Norman people see this butcher die with their own eyes.

The Count Charles Maurice of Talleyrand was condemned to death. The Duke Caedes pardoned him but banished him from Champagne for life and obtained his final exile of the France Kingdom. The Courts would have liked that the Holy Roman Empire intervened with the Germanic emperor in person to obtain this exit.

By Nordic

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ROUEN(AAP). The aap wishes to correct immediately the comments that it was anxious matters of the price new list of buyback by the dukedom.

The new CAC of Normandie, Ruhtra, wished to lower the buyback price of the fruit to 12.30 écus, so that the price of fruit comes close to that of vegetables and therefore fruits sell better. Miki54 talked about the 4th consecutive decrease of the buyback price of the fruit. Now, the two preceding buyback prices successively were 12.40 écus then 12.60 écus (therefore an increase at the time of the last change).

This manipulation of the prices of buybacks of the dukedom gave a means to Miki54 to do drive the Normandie Market into chaos. In fact, currently the dukedom has to produce iron, because of the repairs of the Norman expressions. This that created momentarily an iron scarcity. The alone iron productive cities are Gapes and Avranches, the only two fruit cities (who are concerned by the decrease of the price of the fruit). Miki54, while broadcasting false information to the population, asks the inhabitants of these two cities to boycott the iron production and therefore to paralyze the Normandie.

The questions that put themselves forth are: will the Norman population will be dupped, and will Miki54 be judged for disturbance to the public order.

Ruhtra, Commissioner to the commerce of Normandie


(October 16th 2005 - 1st edition)
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